


Forever

by AlexNotDanvers



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff, Original Character(s), Sanvers - Freeform, So much angst, This is going to be a long journey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2019-06-29 18:18:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15734832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexNotDanvers/pseuds/AlexNotDanvers
Summary: This is something that I have thought for a while. It's not going to be plain sailing and if that's not your cup of tea, that's fine. PLEASE TAKE NOTE OF THE WARNINGS. We have a while to go before we see how things happen but there WILL be a major character death. That character may or may not have been introduced yet. I will add additional tags when other events happen.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first solo big work i've done. I have it all planned out and am hoping to do regular updates but my work schedule and stuff with my kids comes first. Please remember that this is my story and I will be telling it the way i want to. I'm far from the worlds best writer so I am open to constructive criticism but please be kind. The more people comment, the more I feel like writing so do with that what you will.

Today was the day that Alex had been dreading for months, there had been lots of little anniversaries and the couple of big ones since she had split up with Maggie but this one was a full year since that day. A year. An entire year without Maggie and it still hurt just as much as that first night.

She couldn’t dwell on it, she had work, they were working a huge case dealing with alien drugs being circulated around National City and she was no closer to being a Mom than she had been a year ago. Was it even worth it?

She hated letting those thoughts in. Each time she did, it ended with her disappearing into spiral of self-loathing and misery. “Fucking get your act together, Alex. This is getting stupid.” She mumbled to herself.

Her morning routine had been set in stone for at least the last 6 or 7 months. Yoga to start the day then 3 miles on the treadmill, shower, coffee and work. It worked, it kept her active and it worked. It was functional.

She walked into the DEO to see Kara already there. Her sister was deep in conversation with some of the agents so the Alex hung back.

“Good morning Director. Here’s you breakfast, Supergirl brought it in as usual. We have an update on the drug case, we’ll be meeting in conference room in 10 minutes.”

Alex took the bag from the agent, “Thank you Agent Vasquez.” Kara had gotten her a sticky bun, she knows she doesn’t eat sugar during the day unless something is bothering her. Looks like her sister had remembered what today was. She caught her eye and whispered, “Thank you.” So quietly she could barely hear it leave her own mouth. Kara smiled ever so slightly back and nodded just the once in acknowledgment.

Alex made her way to her office to eat her breakfast before heading into the meeting. She could see a pile of paperwork that needed sorting ASAP but couldn’t face it today. Tomorrow she’d spend the full day working through that pile but today she needed action and it sounded like they may have a significant enough lead to get that.

//

The meeting started promptly at 8:30am, every available agent had been called in. This had to mean a big development.

“Thank you for coming everyone, Agents Hill and Gibson, what do we need to know?”

Agent Hill stepped forward, “Thanks, Director Danvers. We have discovered the origins of the drug, now being called C on the streets. If you take a look at the slide here, we’ve broken it down to its chemical form. We were stumped initially but thanks to some victims accounts, we narrowed it down. We now believe that this drug comes from Starhaven.”

There were mumbles from a few agents about Starhavenites not being visible on camera.

Alex was getting annoyed with the lack of focus her agents were demonstrating. “Yes, yes, we’re aware of the difficulties surrounding Starhavenites, can we focus on what plan the Agents now have please?”

Agent Gibson took over, “As many of you were saying, Starhavenites do not appear on camera. This has caused us problems in the past, we thought that maybe a speedster was involved but now this thread seems promising. The problem being that we don’t have any CIs involved with the DEO. Our reputation proceeds us, we need help from the NCPD.”

Alex’s stomach dropped. She’d heard that Maggie had recently been promoted to Captain of the Science division so knew that as Director she had to be the one who spoke to her. Interagency cooperation had to be done properly and if they wanted this thing off the streets, it _had_ to be her. Why? Of all of the days that this could have happened. Why a year to the day after she had last heard her voice?

“I shall personally be in touch with the science division as soon as we end this meeting. Explain where we need to be heading with the investigation next.”

Agents Gibson and Hill continued with their plan, Alex had zoned out. She knew the drill but was aware that not many of the agents had dealt with Starhavenites yet.  The situation sucked, she wanted to get out in the field today but now that meant talking to Maggie. She wasn’t ready for this. Just the thought was stirring feelings she thought she had forgotten about. This may just be the hardest mission she had ever committed to.

The meeting cleared out with each agent ready to do his or her part once the NCPD were involved. Alex knew she needed to get this over with but she felt sick. The nerves grew with each and every step she took towards her office, she hoped someone would pull her away and distract her so that she didn’t have to face Maggie, albeit only over the phone for now, for a little while longer. No such luck.

She sat at her desk and wondered if she should just call her cell, she still had her on her speed dial after all. Maggie had probably changed her number though and that could risk exposure of the DEO. No, she had to go through the station to be safe. Her hands were clammy, heart was racing and she began to tremble as she picked up the receiver and dialled the number.

The operator put her call through to the Science division, Alex held her breath hoping that anyone but Maggie would answer. She really, _really_ wasn’t ready for this. A familiar voice answered the phone and curtly said, “Sawyer.”

One name, one she hadn’t heard that particular woman say in an entire year but it felt so familiar. She cold feel her eyes filling with tears but still couldn’t speak.

“If this is Frank messing around again, grow the fuck up.” Maggie sounded pissed.

“Erm, no not Frank.” Alex managed to finally get out.

“Danvers? Erm..what, why…..” Maggie was clearly just a flustered by Alex’s voice as Alex was hers.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to blind side you. It’s just that we have a case and we need the NCPD to help.”

Maggie’s voiced changed completely, almost as if she didn’t want Alex sensing the emotion she had accidentally let out. “This got anything to do with the new drug that’s been doing the rounds?”

Alex was relieved that she had already heard something about it, it would make this call shorter so she could at least get her shit together before going out in the field. “Got it in one. You got any notes you want to officially share?”

“I have some, yes. I’ll come over to the DEO in an hour or so, we can compare notes and see where we need to go from there.”

Alex was not expecting _her_ to come over, she figured she’d send someone she trusted to assist and that she’d mainly have to deal with Maggie by email. This wasn’t going the way thought it would. From a professional point of view it was better but personally? Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Yeah? That would be great. I’ll make sure you’re cleared.”

“I’ll see you in a while.”

That was it. The conversation was over and now Alex had an hour to get herself together enough to actually face Maggie.

There was a knock on the door, Kara walked in without Alex saying anything. She looked up at her sister only too see a look of concern etched into her features.

Alex managed to speak, “So you heard that, huh?”

Kara nodded and walked around the desk to hug her sister. Alex let out a shaky breath, desperately trying not to cry but struggling. Kara stroked her back knowing that this must be killing her. “It’s ok, Alex, it’s going to be ok.”

“Really? I don’t know. When she picked the phone up and realised that it was me, she sounded shocked but then went into professional mode almost instantly. Like we’d never had anything. I made the biggest mistake of my life letting her go and she’s probably moved on and now I need to work with her and act like nothing has happened.” She had a few tears falling now.

Kara reached up and gently wiped a few tears from her face. “You’ll be ok, you have me, always. I know I wasn’t great when you were together and I could have been better since but I swear to you, I am here now.”

The sisters shared another hug whilst Alex thanked her super sister. She needed to get some paperwork done before Maggie got here and as she was about to tell Kara just that, the superhero heard a disturbance down town and left. Alex made the call to security to tell them to grant access to Maggie and started on some paperwork.

//

Maggie was in shock. Alex had just called. On today of all days, it couldn’t have waited until tomorrow or been yesterday, it had to be today. Hearing her voice physically hurt. She thought she was doing better than that but apparently not, one work phone call and she felt like she’d been kicked in the gut.

She was aware of the case that they had mentioned, she tried to keep half an eye on interesting cases that were being worked in other departments because more often than not, they ended up coming through her at some point and being Captain of the science division offered her certain privileges when it came to cases.

Going back to the DEO was going to be….an experience. She hadn’t been there in over a year, somehow managing to avoid all contact other than the odd arrest and even then Alex hadn’t been present. Rumours had been circulating about Alex’s promotion though. She deserved it, she worked her ass off for that agency and no one could convince her differently. She was so proud of Alex for getting it but then it hurt all over again that she wouldn’t be the one she would be celebrating with.

Alex had realistically moved on, it had been a year and she wanted a family. Her promotion would no doubt see her staying out of the field so much more. Shit, what if Alex was pregnant? She really hadn’t thought this through, it may have been a year but it was still so painful. Her mind swirled with a million possibilities before she managed to snap herself out of it and fetch a cup of crappy station coffee and head over to narcotics about the drugs case.

By the time she was given the files, she needed to be heading over to the DEO. She didn’t feel ready for the walk down memory lane but she had no choice, like ripping a band-aid off, it was now or never.

//

Maggie walked up to the entrance of the DEO and shuddered as she entered through the doors. This was a place with so much history for her, some of the best moments in her life that were now tainted. It felt like a slap in the face. She got through security; pleased she didn’t have to call Alex to get in and waited for her escort.

Alex was sat at her desk when there was a knock on the door. “Enter.” She called.

“Director Danvers, Captain Sawyer to see you.”

Her stomach flipped, nerves going through the roof. “Thank you Agent.” Maggie walked in looking confident and professional in a navy button up, jeans that hugged her in all the right places and one of those damn leather jackets that Alex loved so much.

“Director Danvers now? Haven’t you gone up in the world!” Maggie teased taking in every bit of the room and her ex fiancée in front of her. She looked great….and not pregnant! There were no pictures on her desk other than one of her and the Super-friends, which apparently now included Lena Luthor. There was no obvious sign that she was with anyone new but she wasn’t really expecting to see that in her office if she was being honest with herself.

“Could say the same about you Captain.” It felt good, bantering like that, almost like nothing had changed. Silence was quick to descend soon after, making both women feel awkward and the tension in the room becoming almost unbearable.

The women stared at each other as though they were trying to figure out where the stood, Maggie broke the silence, “Am I ok to sit and get on with the case, I do have quite a bit on these days as I’m sure you do.”

“Sorry, yeah, that’s great.” Alex spluttered feeling like an idiot for not suggesting it sooner. That was the reason they were together after all. Maggie was going to take the professional route from the looks of it. Alex didn’t know if that was better or worse than pretending that nothing had happened between them, like the woman in front of her wasn’t the love of her life.

“So, what does the DEO know about this drug?”

“Not too much other than we believe that it’s from Starhaven. That means that if the dealer is a Starhavenite, we have the obvious issue of no pictures or video evidence.”

Maggie sighed, “So I’m guessing you want to hit up some of my CIs in order to get witness accounts and leads?”

“So long as you’re willing. I had planned on going in to the field myself on this one. It’s been a while, could do with stretching my legs a little.”

Maggie didn’t react to the suggestion. “I have a couple of people I can talk to. I’ll send a couple of texts now whilst we go through everything and make sure we’re all on the same page.”

With that they settled in to talk through everything from the science of the drug, its effects and any possible leads they both had. It took a couple of hours but they both felt fully caught up on the ins and outs of C. Maggie had heard back from her CIs and was arranging a meeting with one. She told Alex that she’d follow up with her later. With that, Maggie left.

It had been easier than Alex had anticipated but now Maggie was gone, everything came flooding back in one go, she could barely breathe. Maggie seemed to have her shit together; she was so obviously over Alex that it was painful. What the fuck had she been thinking? She was such an idiot letting her go. Things were easy with Maggie, they had loved each other so much that they made it easy to open up and talk and work together.

She was kicking herself and losing herself down that spiral again. They wanted different things didn’t they? Alex had made no progress on the kids front, she just felt pain and rather than easing, it seemed to be getting worse.

//

_Danvers, I have a lead. Meet me at Dollywood in an hour._

Maggie had kept the same number and not deleted hers. No, that’s not what her instant reaction should be to that message. She gathered her stuff and headed out, firing a text off to Kara just in case things went south.

Maggie was waiting for her outside just as she had been the first time she came here. The déjà vu was overwhelming. At least this time Alex knew what to expect to a certain extent. She was also more accepting of aliens in general thanks to Maggie. She really had changed her completely.

“Danvers, follow me.” Maggie led Alex around the back of the place to an alley.

“Jeer’a. Are you here? It’s me, Maggie. I have someone with me but she’s ok, we’re here to help.”

Jeer’a appeared slowly from a doorway that Alex hadn’t even noticed was there. It was dark so Alex couldn’t make out the aliens features or even species from here but she did her their voice.

“It’s too dangerous. I’ve changed my mind.”

Maggie stopped where she was and lowered her voice. “It’s ok, we can protect you. We just need to know when and where the next shipment is coming in, can you help?”

“I…I think so. But please, you can’t tell anyone, they’ll kill me!”

Maggie moved forward and took Jeer’a’s hands in her own. “I won’t let that happen, you know that. The only way we’re going to stop more people getting hurt though is if we know more about where C is coming from. We need to get this thing off the streets. I can help you too”

Jeer’a looked Maggie in the eyes. “Tomorrow night, down by the docks. After Midnight, that’s all I know.”

Maggie thanked her and told her she’d be in touch.

“Wow, Maggie, that was brilliant!”

“It’s my job Danvers, Jeer’a is an old friend, she trusts me. We need to get a task force together ASAP, 50/50 NCPD and DEO. If we’re going to get these guys, we have to work together. I might have an in for someone if you have an agent suitable for undercover?”

“Would that work this late on? It’s 27 hours away.”

Maggie seemed frustrated that she was being questioned, “Get me the name and I’ll do the rest. I have a contact, if it’ll work they’ll tell me.”

Alex could sense Maggie’s frustration; She wanted to reach out but knew she couldn’t, “I trust you. I have an agent in mind. I know it’s getting late but want to do it now?”

“The sooner the better.”

They both sent out alerts to their teams requiring them to meet at the NCPD within the hour and set off there themselves.

//

Maggie started talking, “Tonight we have been given some intelligence from a reliable source in relation to our operation to get C off the streets. This is a cross agency mission. We are expecting the delivery to be coming in to the docks tomorrow night after midnight. When after midnight? We’re not sure. Supergirl and DEO intelligence have already scoped the area out and have identified various positions for us to be discreet. Director Danvers, do you want to continue?”

“Myself and Captain Sawyer will be accompanying you on this mission. We will be available on comms at all times. Everyone will be wearing body cams. We know that Starhavenites will not show but there may be others that will. We will direct you from nearby, no one moves without our command. Supergirl will be there to cover too. Agent Hill, you will need to talk to Captain Sawyer immediately after this briefing, she has a specific task in mind for you. Everyone else, you will be assigned your tasks next.”

The rest of the meeting went without issue; everyone knew the plan in its entirety. All staff were then sent to get some rest before their busy night tomorrow.

Alex sounded confident, “I think there’s a good chance that we’re going to get these guys, you know? We make a good team, Mags.”

Maggie visibly froze at the familiarity in the nickname. Alex felt awful; she hadn’t meant to say it. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I…”

“I have to go, see you tomorrow, Danvers. Hill, follow me.” Maggie was abrupt and left without another word.

_Hill is in, We have some communication but not much. He’ll be dark for at least 8 hours._

_Thanks for keeping me in the loop, Sawyer._

Today was a big day. Both agencies needed to go over the details just to confirm that everything was in place and everyone was fully prepared and considering all possibilities. If this thing went bad there were a lot of lives at stake. 

Maggie got to the DEO early and settled down in the command room talking to the new Winn to confirm his role and be certain of the tech that she was sending her officers in with.

Alex saw her and couldn’t help but feel guilty about last night, she was such an idiot, she couldn’t let herself slip like that again, it had to remain professional if this bust was going to go well.

They went over the plan again and again to make sure they were both clear. The atmosphere between the Captain and the Director was incredibly strained. Maggie barely looked at Alex unless she had to all day.

By 10pm, they were loading in to a van to get to the docks. Just the two of them, everyone else went separately so as not to cause any sort of scene. It was dark and cold and it started raining at about 11:30pm. No sign of any movement and neither woman had muttered more than a few words to each other.

Things were looking bleak, time was moving slowly and there was no sign of anything until around 2am. Alex jumped up behind Maggie at the monitors in the van the second she saw something. She pointed on the screen at a figure they both recognised, “Brian.” They said in unison.

Alex withdrew her hand and brushed Maggie’s shoulder as she did. Maggie recoiled as though disgusted by Alex’s touch. Alex felt her heart drop, Maggie really hated her so much that just being in contact with her repulsed the shorter woman. Fuck. The red head felt her heart breaking all over again and fought to keep the tears at bay.

Maggie regained her composure, “What the hell is he doing down there? Jesus, Brian. You can be such a dip shit!”

“If he’s involved there’s got to be more to it. He’s in to gambling, not drugs.”

“Maybe his bookie wants him to pay up so he’s gone for an easy option.”

That sounded like Brian. He was a dip shit who always seemed to get himself into the most stupid situations.

A crackle came through the comms, ” _Movement on a shipping container, north side. At least 8 individuals.”_

 This was it. They had the chance to get this shit off the streets.

_“Wait for our command, Davis.”_ Maggie responded.

Things started developing, Supergirl was keeping an eye on the situation overhead and keeping Alex in the loop. They had to wait for the product to appear before they could move in. They couldn’t screw this up.

“ _Eyes on the prize, awaiting further instruction.”_

Alex and Maggie looked at each other and silently agreed that Alex should be the one to give the command. “ _Move in.”_

The agents and officers surrounded the gang and the drugs. It was all fairly routine in the end. Nothing major happened, no force was needed, everyone surrendered as soon as they realised that they were surrounded. The drugs were taken for testing and the suspects were all arrested and taken to the police station.

Alex walked back towards Maggie so they could head over to the van the rain was still falling heavily. “We did good with this, Sawyer.”

Maggie didn’t seem to want to make small talk, “Whatever Danvers.”

“Listen, Maggie, I know we have history and I know I’m probably the last person you wanted to work directly with…”

Maggie scoffed almost a little too aggressively.

“….wow. Okay, maybe it’s more than that. What the hell?”

“Listen Danvers, we did a job together, it needed both of our teams, lets just leave it there. I’m tired and really wanna get home.”

Alex was starting to raise her voice now. “Fine. You obviously hate me and I get that after what I did but jesus, I was congratulating you on a good job!!”

Maggie looked a cross between outraged and shocked. “Hate you?! For fuck sake Danvers, I knew you were oblivious but that takes the biscuit!!”

They were all out shouting at each other in the rain now, luckily most of the agents were gone. Maggie had stormed off in the direction of the van and Alex had to jog to catch up.

“What the hell are you going on about?! Since we first spoke yesterday you’ve had your walls up and acted like we’d never met. I knew this was going to awkward but you’ve done nothing but convince me that I should have sat this one out. I touched you by accident and you practically jumped on to the ceiling, I called you Mags and you ran out of the room. I’m sorry I did what I did but we are going to have to work together at some point!!”

Maggie spun around on he heels with tears in her eyes and practically screamed, “Are you being serious right now?! I did those things because I still love you, Danvers!!”

 


	2. Chapter 2

Alex stopped in her tracks completely gobsmacked, mouth agape. Maggie had said that she still loves her. Hadn’t she? But she’s been nothing but professional, verging on stand off ish, for the last 24 hours. Shit.

Maggie had turned back around and picked up her pace and was suddenly heading away from the van. Alex couldn’t bring herself to move, the shock of what Maggie had just said too strong for her to speak or manage to move.

By the time she started coming to her senses, Maggie was too far away to hear when she called her name. She wouldn’t catch up with her and it looked like she was trying to hail a cab.

Alex got back to the van, soaked through to her skin by the rain that just wouldn’t let up. She was going to get sick if she didn’t dry off and warm up soon. She got in the drivers seat and drove it back to the DEO passing by where she last saw Maggie and not seeing her again. She couldn’t help it now; the tears were falling heavily.

Kara was at the DEO when she arrived back, Alex gave her a watery smile and walked to the locker rooms. Kara followed quickly after seeing the distress on her sister’s face that just didn’t seem to fit the big win they’d all had. She entered the locker room and saw Alex sat with her head in her hands with tears flowing, sobbing loudly. She ran to her, knelt down in front of her and said, “Alex, what’s wrong?”

Alex didn’t answer, she flung her arms around Kara and collapsed into her unable to form a sentence. “Woah, hey, it’s ok Alex, it’s all going to be ok. You wanna go home? I can fly us and run a bath for you? It’ll be better than here and at least you’ll warm up quicker, you’re freezing.” Kara was rubbing her sister’s back and Alex nodded gently and Kara took them back to Alex’s apartment.

//

It had been an hour or more since they had been at the DEO, Alex had got in the bath almost as soon as Kara had got them back to her apartment. Kara got a fluffy onesie out and made some tea whilst her sister had her soak. She still hadn’t said a word or gone for a drink and that wasn’t like Alex.

Alex emerged looking considerably warmer than she had done but her eyes were puffy from the crying. Kara was sat on the sofa with some blankets and cushions, “You up for a cuddle? We can watch Netflix or something if you don’t want to talk about it.”

Alex snuggled in beside her sister and sipped at the hot chamomile tea and finally managed to say something. “It’s Maggie.”

“I thought it might have been something. Was it too much working with her? Did she do something?”

Alex shook her head and tried to fight the tears back again. “No, she…When we were leaving, she was different with me and I called her out on it.” Alex’s was struggling to keep her breathing under control and had to choke back another sob. “We had an honest to Rao argument in the middle of the street. Shouting and screaming at each other Kara.”

Alex felt her Super sister clench her fists. “Calm down, it wasn’t like that. She said that she’d be distant with me because she still loves me.” Saying the words out loud made them feel even more real than they already were. She couldn’t hold back the sobs any longer.

Kara held her; stroking her hair hardly able to process this information herself so she couldn’t even begin to imagine what Alex was going through right now.

“How are you feeling?”

Alex laughed through her tears. “How do you think? I let the love of my life go for some notion of being a parent with no idea how I was ever actually going to achieve that. Every day I go through it in my stupid head and I regret it. I love her so much Kara, I never stopped, I don’t want to have kids with anyone but her.”

“Hey, you’re not stupid. You did what you thought was the right thing and she still doesn’t want kids, right? Did you talk to her at all before coming back to the DEO.”

Alex sat up and put her head in her hands again. “We didn’t get chance to, I froze and blanked and she took off. By the time I got anywhere near where she had been, she was long gone.”

“Okay. We’ll figure something out, I promise. You need to get some rest though, want me to stay over?” Alex nodded in reply and they climbed into bed. Alex was surprisingly out like a light, the adrenaline from the mission had worn off and the crying had drained her emotionally.

//

Maggie couldn’t face looking at Alex for another second to only hear her say that they couldn’t be together again. It would break her completely. She decided to walk to try and find a cab and was relieved when one was passing as she got to the road. She was dripping wet and apologised to the driver after giving him her address and decided to tip him heavily for it.

She got in to her apartment, leant against the door and collapsed on the floor, sobbing with wave after wave hitting her harder and harder. She told Alex that she still loves her. Why had she been so damn stupid? Nothing good could come of this even if Alex was single; they wanted completely different things…didn’t they?

Maggie didn’t know anymore, the thought of never being with Alex again hurt like she never thought could. Even more than breaking up did in the first place. What was she going to do now? She couldn’t pretend like nothing had happened, she had no idea what was going on with Alex or her love life. There was too much history for them to even consider starting something up again, wasn’t there?

Alex had been right, they needed to be able to work together and this was going to fuck things up. The last couple of days had been difficult enough as it was.

She couldn’t face anymore of this tonight so she got herself a shower and got in bed wishing she could turn back time.

//

Alex woke at about 10am feeling slightly disorientated and finding a note on the bedside table from Kara.

_You’re not expected in the DEO today after the mission last night. There’s a fresh Danish in the kitchen, call me if you need anything. K x_

Alex smiled at how thoughtful her sister had been. She really was trying to be better at supporting her big sister and she knew that the red head was always a sucker for a Danish.

Alex put some coffee on and ate her Danish. She didn’t know what to do; she was exhausted from last night still and didn’t know what to think of Maggie’s revelation. She knew that they needed to talk but she should probably wait for Maggie to make the first move there, shouldn’t she? You know what? No! She wasn’t going to wait for Maggie. This had knocked the wind out of her and that needed discussing if they were ever going to be able to work together without it ending in an almighty row.

With a sense of courage and determination not felt before that moment, she took out her phone and began to type.

_Hey, Sawyer. I think we need to talk, you know what about. The feeling is mutual though. It’s always been you._

She pressed send. She knew this was probably a bad idea but they needed to at least find a way to manage their feelings whilst they were at work. They couldn’t have another incident like last night; the next mission might get messy. It may not be safe for Maggie to walk off like that if it did. Plus, the captain had played her hand; surely Alex should get to play her own.

The message went to read quickly but no reply came through. There was nothing else Alex could do right now other than wait so she put Queer Eye on and spent the rest of the morning on the sofa.

//

By the time Maggie woke, she felt like shit. Her head was pounding from crying so much, her eyes were puffy and now she had to face the consequences of her actions. Of all the things she could have said to Alex; that should have been last on the list. She wanted kids, something Maggie had never wanted but the thought of having a family with Alex? She didn’t know anymore.

She needed to get her shit together, she needed to wake up and think about something other than Alex. The job went well last night, last she heard, narcotics were doing the interviews and would keep her in the loop but that wasn’t going to save her from the mountain of paperwork as lead on the sting.

She managed to drag herself out of bed to put some fresh coffee on when she heard her phone beep. She’d left it on the counter when she came in early this morning. She assumed it would be someone from the station filling her in, she was not expecting it to be Alex. She most definitely was not expecting, ‘the feeling is mutual though’. What the fuck was she meant to do with that?!

This whole thing was a huge mess. She couldn’t face it right now so she put her phone down and lay down on the couch trying to figure out what to do next. She needed to get things right in her own mind, there was no way she could talk to Alex without knowing exactly what was going on in her own head. She needed to decide why she told her that she still loves her. Fuck.

A little while and a bit of a snooze later, Maggie shot upright. Alex had said, ‘It’s always been you.’ Unexpectedly, hope bloomed in her chest. That answered everything she needed answering. She wasn’t over Alex and there was no way she was going to be anytime soon. The problem was that she couldn’t imagine starting things up again, things went horribly wrong before and there was no way she could go through that again in a thousand lifetimes

She picked up her phone, took a deep breath and started to type.

_You’re right. I don’t fancy doing this thing in public though, too many emotions especially if last night is any indicator. Let me know where and when and I’ll be there._

Sent. Now she’d just hold her breath until she got a reply.

//

Alex heard her phone beep but she’d buried herself in a Netflix hole and was too comfy to get out until she realised it might be Maggie. She jumped out of her seat and grabbed her phone off the kitchen counter.

She read the message 4 or 5 times before the words started to make sense. Maggie wanted to meet up privately to discuss ‘things’. This was what she was hoping for and yet now that she’d had the message her chest felt tight, her head woozy and she couldn’t catch her breath no matter what she tried. She managed to send a message to Kara before slumping down on to the floor desperately trying to get control of her breathing.

Kara burst through the open window and landed next to Alex within a minute of her sending the text. She knelt down next to her big sister and spoke softly. “Alex, can you look at me?”

The Director managed to raise her head enough to look at her sister. “Can I touch you?” Alex nodded in response.

“Ok, I’m going to put my hand on your chest, can you really focus on that for me?”

Alex was hyperventilating but nodded because she knew what Kara was doing. She felt the slight pressure of Kara’s hand on her chest and tried to breathe into the hand feeling it move with the rise and fall of her chest. It was working, slowly. It took 10 minutes before Alex started to feel like she was back in control. When she did, Kara made her a cup of tea and joined her back on the floor.

“Are you ready to talk about it?” Kara asked gently.

Alex wasn’t feeling able to say much so she kept it short. “Maggie wants to talk. In Private.”

Kara put an arm around her big sister and pulled her in to her side, allowing Alex to rest her head on the hero’s shoulder. “I’m guessing you’re worried about which way it’s going to go?”

Alex nodded and began to cry. “I can’t go through losing her again.”

They sat in silence for a little while with Kara rubbing Alex’s arm whilst she cried.

Later that afternoon, after Kara had left, Alex picked up her phone.

_Would one of our places be too much? Let me know what days are good for you. I’d love to say that I’m not nervous but I can’t._

She blew the breath out she’d been holding and pressed send for the second time today.

//

Maggie heard her phone go off and went over to it. Alex. She pressed the screen to open the message and read it. It would be too much to be at Alex’s, here would be better. No huge memories hanging over their heads mixing up their emotions now that she’d moved.

_Mine is fine. Do you want to get it over and done with tonight? I’m off today after last night (mandatory!) so I’m guessing you will be too? Let me know._

_//_

Alex heard her phone go off almost straight away. Fuck it.

_Send me the address._

//

Alex pulled up outside Maggie’s building feeling anxious but semi hopeful. Things would hopefully feel easier after tonight.

She took the stairs to Maggie’s floor and paused outside before knocking. The door opened revealing the smaller woman dressed in some cute pyjamas with her hair up in a messy bun.

“Come in, sorry about the hair and the stuff. Lazy day, you know.”

“It’s fine, Maggie. This wasn’t exactly planned until 30 minutes ago.”

Maggie nodded and smiled, “Yeah. Can I get you a drink?”

“Just water, thanks.”

Maggie passed her ex the drink and invited her to sit at her small table. She took a deep breath and said, “So, how do you want to do this?”

Alex was nervous but if this was going to go well, she needed to be honest. “I think you should talk first. When we….you know, before, I got to talk a lot and I never gave you the chance. I guess that’s as good a place as any?”

Maggie looked at her with those eyes and those dimples (as small as they may be right now) and couldn’t help but fall more in love with her. “That’s true. Can we have one rule? We can be honest but not hurtful?”

Alex looked at Maggie with tears already starting to fill her eyes. “Maggie, I know things were bad a year ago but I swear that I have learned from my mistakes and I will never disrespect you like that again. You didn’t deserve it then and you don’t deserve it now.”

Maggie didn’t quite know what to do with that information, she was shocked and yet she couldn’t believe it. Everyone eventually did it; Alex had been no different. The gravity of what was in front of them suddenly weighed down on her.

“That’s the thing, I don’t want promises of never doing something again. I want you to be able to admit when you’re wrong and listen to me. If we’re going to work together, that needs to be the case.”

Alex nodded in agreement.

“Last year our engagement ended not long before our wedding. That ended because you decided that you wanted kids. We had so many discussions in the months prior and not once did it come up. The lifetime of firsts we promised each other? Not one of them was kids. The house and dog? Yes. Not one mention of kids.”

Maggie stood up now needing to pace as she spoke.

“You came at me, not to me, and suddenly dropped this huge bomb by saying that you want kids. We’d spoken about it so many times before that and you agreed that you didn’t want them. That wasn’t communicating. That will never be communicating, Alex. That can’t happen again…. especially on the job.”

Alex knew she’d done all of those things but hearing Maggie say them out loud was horrible. “I know the way I did it was so completely wrong. I know that. You deserve so much better than that. I’m so sorry, I’ve regretted it every single day since.”

Maggie was welling up, feeling like she was just getting started. “You hurt me Alex, I have never felt the way I feel about you about any one else. I gave myself to you completely, I told you that you were everything I needed and you said the same about me but then still turned your back on everything we had to satisfy some need you never told me about. We could have discussed it properly! But you never even tried.”

Maggie now had tears actively falling over her cheeks and into her dimples and Alex was doing all she could to not reach out and touch her. “You never asked me why I didn’t want kids. You said that you loved me but you didn’t ask me why I never wanted kids.”

Alex was crying too now, she took a sip of her water and started talking. “You’re right Maggie, I was awful in the end. My own selfishness shone through and I didn’t bother to ask you how you felt or to explore why you felt that way. Things didn’t have to end the way they did, hell, they probably didn’t have to end. I was stubborn and treated you like shit and for that I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself. Can we discuss it now? Can you tell me what it is about having kids that makes you not want to?”

Maggie sighed and sat back at the table holding her own glass of water. “When I was a kid, I thought that my parents were the best people in the world. Then I turned 14 and Valentines Day and all that. You saw what happened at our wedding shower and that was mild in comparison. I can’t bear the thought of letting a kid down like that. I’d never leave a child or disown them the way my parents did but look at you. You don’t have a healthy relationship with your Mom and most of the adults I know don’t. I couldn’t do that to a kid. I don’t think I could ever be enough for a kid.”

Alex reached forward and put her hand on the Captain’s. Maggie pulled her hand away as though Alex had scalded it with boiling water. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cross a boundary.”

Maggie dropped her head, “No, Alex, it’s ok. I wasn’t expecting it. My walls are still up around you, you know? I just don’t think I can be like that with you, at least not at the minute.”

Alex nodded, “I understand. Thank you for being open with me. The thing is Mags, everyone feels like they’re getting it horribly wrong whether their raising kids or just living their life. No one truly knows what they’re doing but you would have had me. We could have faced that together. I don’t think you would ever mess a kid up anything like the way my Mom has me or Winn’s Mom did him. You care too much, you love too fiercely.”

Maggie scoffed. “It’s not just that though is it? What if something had happened on the job and I’d lost you or something happened to me? My fears are as real as your desire to have kids and we work in increasingly dangerous situations. Add a kid or two into that mix and you can end up leaving them without parents altogether. It’s not fair, Alex!!”

Alex knew she was beat there, even though both of them were higher up and doing less on the ground, their jobs were still two of the most dangerous in National City.

They fell in to an uncomfortable silence with tears slowly drying up on their faces. Neither woman knowing where the conversation should go from there. After a good 10 minutes, Maggie spoke, “Pizza? There’s a pretty good place down the road, they deliver too.” Alex nodded in agreement.

They barely spoke whilst waiting for the pizza, both of them realising how hungry they were after the events of the last 24 hours and neither of them wanting to be the first to start up the conversation again.

The pizza was devoured at almost Kara speed. Alex and Maggie had moved to the couch to eat it and felt more comfortable again with full stomachs.

“I know there’s a lot more that you want or need to say about what happened with us last year but I have to know something. Why did you tell me you still love me? You could have just gone back to how things were, we’ll have to work together from time to time but that would have just been awkward. You didn’t need to tell me.”

Maggie looked over at Alex and felt tears begin to fill her eyes again. “It, you..” she paused to regain her composure, “I never planned for a time where we would need to work together in such close proximity. I knew it would likely happen at some point but I was expecting to have stopped feeling…things for you by then. You blindsided me and then it reminded me of the beginning, of working together like we did on the Scorcher case and then you said that I must hate you and I lost my cool.”

Alex swallowed the lump in her throat and responded, her voice thick with emotion, “Maggie…I don’t know what to say.”

The Captain was desperately trying to blink more tears away, “I could never lie to you after the Emily thing. I shouldn’t have said it like that. You said it too though, why?”

Alex knew she had to be honest, whatever happened now would determine where their relationship went from here. “You said it and I’d been feeling all of those things too. The Scorcher case?” Alex let out a chuckle, “You’re dead right it reminded me of that. I fucked up last year, Mags, I know I keep repeating myself but I have regretted it ever since. I wake up each morning wishing I hadn’t been such an ass and that you could be there but you’re not and I hate myself for it.”

Maggie looked up at Alex with tears falling gently over her cheeks.

“Everything you’ve said is true, I destroyed what we’d spent so much time building. You got me to be myself, you changed me in so many ways and each one of them was for the better. I am who I am because of you.” She took a deep breath before continuing, “I am in love with you Maggie and I don’t think that will ever change.”

Maggie stood up and walked to the kitchen, bracing herself on the counter whilst trying to steady her breathing. “I’m in love with you too Alex. We can’t do this though, how can we? The trust is broken…. that’s going to be dangerous on missions.”

Alex was now looking frustrated and pissed off. “Can we stop pretending that this is about work? We said we were going to be honest, right? So be honest, this is about us, about our relationship or lack thereof.”

Maggie was shocked that Alex had called her out like that, “You’re right, it’s just easier if it’s about work, you know? I don’t know what to do about this. I can’t stand the thought of having to work together and it being as strained as it was the last night. I want to be open with you but, damnit Alex, I’m scared of getting hurt again!! I can’t go through losing you a second time, it’ll kill me.”

Alex nodded, “So how about we start from scratch. Not romantically or anything like that but we start by being friends? Or at least, making an effort to be friends? That way we can build some trust up again and if one of us is struggling we can talk it out, like friends do.”

“And how do you suppose we do that?”

“Well, we could go out together for a movie or dinner or to an arcade, whatever takes your fancy. Completely platonic, no funny business, and we talk. We get to know each other again, start with the pleasantries and build on it from there. At least then we should be able to be around each other for work without it getting awkward and there shouldn’t be anymore screaming matches at the end of a sting.” Both women laughed.

“We really fucked up there, didn’t we? I’m going to get no end of shit for it back at the station.”

“You’re the Captain now, give them the grunt work for the next month if anyone mentions it. I do think you’ll be ok though, I think most officers were gone by the time it happened.”

Maggie looked far happier than when Alex had first arrived. “I think we’ve actually got a fighting chance of making this work, Danvers.”

Alex smiled, checked her watch and stood up, “Same here. It’s getting late though now so I should probably get going, full debrief in the morning. I’m hoping Hill will be able to give us some good intel so we can sort through who’s who and get the operation shut down for good.”

“Sounds good.” She hesitated for a moment, “Text me to catch me up when you’re done? If you think of anywhere you want to go out together, let me know.”

“Sure thing. Speak to you tomorrow.”

“See you around, Danvers.”

With that, Alex let herself out and both women relaxed feeling like there may actually be a possibility of making things work. Even if it wasn’t romantically, they would still have each other.


	3. Chapter 3

Alex woke early and decided to get a run on. Her mind was still going over the previous nights revelations. Her life had changed completely in the last 48 hours and yet again, that revolved around Maggie. She smiled to herself as she ran thanking her lucky stars that Maggie had agreed to going out together in an attempt to become friends.

Her watch went off with her alarm that meant she needed to get home and get sorted for the day. She felt good, focussed even. Today was the start of new beginnings and she was going to everything she could to not fuck it up this time.

//

When she entered the DEO, the mood was light. Everyone seemed to still be on a high from the bust which meant that interrogations must be going well. Alex insisted that as Director, she be the one to debrief Agent Hill. She called him to her office.

“Agent Hill, good to see you.”

The agent was practically bouncing as he walked through the door. “And you Director. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to go under cover, I feel as though I have grown as an agent as a result.”

Alex smirked as he attempted to kiss ass, “Stand down, Agent. I’m not after the philosophy behind your brief stint under cover, I’m just after the facts.”

“Sorry, Director. Still a little buzzed from the experience is all. 

“Understandable.”

They spent the next couple of hours debriefing going over each and every detail that Hill could recall. He explained who was who in the set up and what each person was expected to do. Once Alex was satisfied that she knew the whole story, she let him go and took out her cell.

_Sawyer, we were almost right about Brian, no idea what he was doing there, just wanted to make a quick buck to pay his bookie off. Everything else is pretty much as we expected after the intelligence had been investigated further. Looks like a big win._

She pressed send with a smile on her face and hope blooming in her chest. She needed to try and figure out where they could go together that wasn’t somewhere that meant something to them or was even remotely romantic. She still had to get her act together and not ruin it if they finally did go somewhere, she didn’t want to act like nothing had ever happened between them. They had a history, they both needed to acknowledge that. She wanted to be better for Maggie, even if it was only going to be as a friend.

_Nice work, Danvers._

//

A couple of days had passed since Maggie last heard from Alex but she hadn’t been in touch with Alex either. She was hoping they would figure something out soon, things felt easier than it did but she just couldn’t let her walls down with her yet. She had no idea how she was going to handle the getting to know each other thing again. She took a deep breath and googled ‘conversation starters for new friends’.

As if by magic, her phone went off and it was Alex.

_Hi. So I’ve been thinking, there’s a gig at this cute little venue downtown, I don’t know if you’re up for it but it could be fun. No big names or anything but there are also food trucks nearby. There’s a vegan one that’s meant to be pretty good too. Let me know if you’re up for it. It’s on Saturday.”_

_Sounds good. Send me the address and I’ll meet you there._

She checked her watched and closed her tabs down on her computer. Time to go home, the mountain of paperwork could wait until tomorrow.

//

Saturday rolled round quickly and Alex was more nervous than she ever remembers being. This had to go well. She was scared that they’d struggle with conversation so being the nerd she was so often reminded of being, she got her phone out and googled conversation starters and began to read.

She got far more engrossed than she’d like to admit and had a list of them saved to her notes section in her phone, just in case they were needed. She looked at the time and realised that she only had a couple of hours before she was meeting Maggie so decided to get showered and changed before calling an uber.

//

Alex ended up arriving at the venue earlier than anticipated but decided to wait outside to greet Maggie. She was nervous and paced back and forth, checking her watch until she heard a familiar voice, “You ok there, Danvers?”

She knew that voice and looked up with a smile on her face. “You found it. I promise it’s normally ok in here, it just looks terrible from the outside.”

They stopped in front of each other not quite knowing how to greet one another. Alex was determined not to overstep the boundary again so tucked her hands in her pockets.

“I’ll believe you for now, the jury is still out for the rest of the night.” Maggie replied jokingly.

Alex gestured towards the door, “After you.”

Maggie walked in with Alex following close behind. The band were warming up and there was already a queue at the bar. “What are you drinking? First round is on me.” Alex asked from behind the shorter woman.

“Just a beer, thanks.”

Alex made her way to the bar whilst Maggie found a table. Within a couple of minutes, the red head returned holding two beers. They stared at their own bottles in silence for a couple of minutes, things feeling awkward. Neither woman knowing how to start up the conversation.

“So-“

“What-“

They spoke in unison. Both women laughed and suggested the other go first. Maggie started, “So, this is a little weird right? Not really sure how to start despite googling conversation starters.”

Alex looked Maggie in the eyes, “You’ve got to be kidding me. I did too!”

“Nerd.” Maggie replied with a laugh.

“Takes one to know one, Sawyer.” Alex teased.

Maggie smiled before getting more serious again, “I guess a quick catch up over the last year could be a good place to start? What do you think?”

Alex nodded, figuring it was probably as good a time as any to address the last year. “Sounds good. Do you want to go first?”

Maggie looked anxious but started. “That first night, I spent it in a hotel. I drank too much and passed out. After that, I sofa surfed for a month or so until I found the apartment. I worked all hours, threw myself into every case I could and ended up getting the promotion about eight weeks ago. Nothing to really report other than that.”

Alex wasn’t sure how to react and couldn’t help but ask the one thing she knew she shouldn’t, “Can I ask if you dated? I guess I just did, sorry. You don’t need to answer if you don’t feel comfortable.”

Maggie looked down at her hands again. “No, it’s fine. I haven’t dated as such. There’s been a couple of…nights but nothing beyond that. I couldn’t.”

Alex didn’t know whether to be relieved or cry.  The thought of Maggie with someone else was heart breaking but she couldn’t talk after the Sara fiasco. “It feels weird talking about this doesn’t it. Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Maggie looked at her with soft features and a look of empathy. “It’s fine, Alex. Honesty is the key here so it was going to come out at some point. What about you?”

Alex exhaled heavily, “Well, that first night, Kara ended up driving us to Midvale for a few days. I needed it. I couldn’t face the apartment, it was too much, too many memories, you know? When we came back we got straight back into work. The normal stuff, you know. Alternate earths, Nazi’s, world killers etc. I threw myself into it all and when J’onn stepped down, he made me director.” Alex broke eye contact with Maggie, “There’s been one night with me too. I was at a wedding not long after we broke up which just reminded me of everything so I got drunk and it went from there.” She dropped her head.

Maggie looked like a million emotions washed over her simultaneously. “Alex, look at me. We’re both grown ups, right? You’re allowed to have sex if you want to. Please don’t be ashamed of that.”

Alex caught Maggie’s eyes again, “I’m working on that, I’m trying not to internalise things as much. I’m working on lots of other things actually, too. I started therapy after that. It’s been going well, I’m confronting some stuff. It’s helping.”

Maggie looked shocked to her core. “You started therapy? Wow, Alex, that’s…..I don’t even know what to say.”

Alex didn’t know how to take Maggie’s reaction, “It’s no big deal, really. It was long overdue.”

“I beg to differ, Danvers. That’s a huge step, I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks.” Alex beamed as the band started up with their own rendition of ‘Sweet Child Of Mine’.

The band were better than either of the women were expecting. It made things a little easier, there were no awkward silences and it gave them something to discuss afterwards whilst they got food.

“They were actually pretty good considering the venue, Danvers. Thanks.”

“No worries, I’m just glad that it helped. I was so nervous about tonight, I kind of forgot that it’s you and that we do know how to talk. I know we have a long way to go before we’re back to talking like we used to but it’s still you.”

Maggie smiled. “You’re right, I’ve been so busy focussing on the break up and that I seem to be forgetting that we actually have common interests and do like being around each other.”

Alex’s eyes lit up, “Oooh!! Speaking of which, Winn hooked me up! So the DEO has gone over to none lethal weapons and he made me a suit…”

“You have a suit?! Like a supersuit?!” Maggie’s excitement seemed to be even more intense than even Kara’s in that moment and Alex quickly matched it.

“YES!! Honestly, Winn did the best job. I’ve got all these crazy enhancements that are amazing. I’m still finding some but I have these magnets in my gloves and kryptonite emitters that were added for the worldkillers. Honestly, you should see it!”

“Well, hopefully I will soon.”

Alex smiled at the shorter woman, “Yeah, you will. So, hungry?”

“I really am, you mentioned food trucks?”

Alex motioned towards the door, “Right this way…”

They left the bar and walked a couple of blocks chatting about the band and their favourite parts of the evening. They were both starting to get a glimpse of how things could be going forwards. It was good, really good. The food trucks weren’t too busy, they got a few pieces each and sat on a bench close by.

Maggie took a deep breath, “Can I say something? I’ve really enjoyed tonight. Really enjoyed it. I’m so happy we did this. You’ve been really respectful of my boundaries and it’s felt so good to spend some time with you with everything out in the open. I guess I just want to say thank you.”

Alex had to blink a tear away, “Thank you, Sawyer. If we’re doing this then I need to make sure I do things right. I don’t want to overstep or cross any boundaries. I know we haven’t really spoken about you not wanting to be touched explicitly but if there’s ever anything, please tell me. Honesty, yeah?”

Maggie tilted her head and smiled so big that her dimples appeared. “Yeah.”

The night ended not long after that with a short, contactless, goodbye but with both women smiling bigger than they had in months.

//

Alex woke the next morning feeling content thinking about the evening before. Things had gone far better than she had dared to hope they would and her mind was already trying to come up with a way to see Maggie again. Now she knew they could do this friends thing, she felt like she needed to spend more time with her. She was desperate to get to know her again.

She went in to work early, still smiling about the evening before. Kara noticed straight away. “That face would suggest you had a good evening.”

“Yeah, I did. Maggie said she did to. It felt like we could actually do the friends thing, you know.”

Kara squinted with suspicion, “Yep, that face definitely says ‘just friends’.”

Alex shook her head at her big sister. There was no way she was going to push it with Maggie even though she’d give anything to be back with her again, especially after last night. “It’s not like that Kara, yes we still have strong feelings but we’re being open about that and focussing on being friends. It’s what we both want.”

Kara walked towards her big sister and pulled her in for a hug. “Whatever you say, Alex. Just don’t get hurt, ok? I worry about you and this seems like a big risk. For both of you.”

Alex nodded in agreement. “I know. But I’m determined to do this right and if the only way I can have Maggie in my life is as a friend then I’m going to be the best damn friend anyone ever had.”

Kara laughed at her sister’s stubbornness. “I don’t doubt it for a second. Anyway, duty calls.” With that, Supergirl left the building.

Alex immersed herself in her paperwork for the next few hours barely stopping for more than a minute. She had so much to catch up on from the last couple of weeks and the pile just kept getting higher. She was going to have to pull some late nights to get it all out of the way.

Her office phone rang, “Director Danvers.” She answered curtly.

“Director, President Marsden here. I am in the process of setting up an off worlders conference where everyone can get access to medical treatment, talk to employers and get a start on the building a life here. We’ll be needing help from the DEO as back up just so that if anything does come up, we have the relevant agencies in place to keep any disruption to a minimum.”

Alex was surprised. This was the first time she had spoken directly to the President. “Of course, Ma’am. If you get the details to me, I can start organising the troops as it were.”

“Excellent, your cooperation will be valued. Naturally, there will be meetings to attend in DC before the event. We would expect your presence there, Director. Is that going to be an issue?”

“Not at all, Madam President. I will oversee everything myself and ensure the best agents we have are assigned to this. 

“I believe in you, Director. J’onn always spoke to very highly of you. My secretary will be in touch with further information soon.”

“Thank you, Ma’am. I look forward to that.”

The line went dead and Alex groaned. As much as this conference sounded like an amazing opportunity for off worlders to come together and find their feet in this foreign land, it was going to mean a shit load more work for her on top of everything else. Nothing but late nights for the foreseeable future.

_Hey Sawyer, how are you? I’m swamped here. Thanks again for last night, I really needed it._

Her phone beeped almost as soon as she had put it down again.

_Same here. I need coffee. Well, decent coffee. The stuff at the station is shocking. Me too x_

_Tell me about it! It’s a coffee conspiracy, I’m telling you._

_Haha! I think you’re on to something there, Danvers. Watch your back! You never know what shady government agency is going to bust your ass for saying something like that._

Alex smiled at the slight dig about the DEO and put her phone down feeling a little more energised and determined to get this damn pile of paperwork down.

//

Alex collapsed on to her sofa in a heap. She was exhausted, it had been two weeks of clearing the outstanding paperwork and now she was getting on with organising the DEO for the conference. She hadn’t seen Maggie since the gig but they had been texting daily even if it was just to say hi.

_Are you home yet, Danvers? By my watch it’s 10:45pm and if you’re not, you should be._

_I’m home, thanks for asking. So tired but I could eat a horse but surprise, surprise, there’s nothing in._

_You never were good with having groceries in. Go to your door._

Alex looked confused but managed to drag herself off the sofa, yawning as she walked. She opened the door to see Maggie standing with pizza in her hands. “What’s this?”

“Well, call me crazy but I thought you might actually want to have a hot meal at some point this week. I knew you wouldn’t cook after working so late, the whole not wanting to wake your neighbours with the smoke alarm thing.” Alex rolled her eyes and they both chuckled “So, I brought you food.”

Alex grinned so big that her face hurt. “You are an amazing friend, Maggie Sawyer. Wanna come in?”

Maggie looked panicked, “Oh no, it’s fine, I didn’t do it for that.”

“I didn’t say you did but, you came all this way and I know you love Stilton’s pizza so, if you want to, the offer is there.”

Maggie was hesitant, “If you’re sure?” Alex almost glared at the captain until she scurried into the living room.

“Drink?” The red head asked.

“Just water thanks, I’m driving after all.”

Alex put the pizza on the table and made her way to the kitchen, “I think I’ll join you with the water, can’t bare the thought of being hungover and dealing with the endless work at the minute.”

The women sat at the table and ate pizza and settled in to a comfortable conversation about the last couple of weeks. Just before midnight, Alex yawned so hard that her eyes watered, Maggie noticed, “You need to get some rest. This was fun, fancy doing it again some time?”

Alex yawned again, “Sure thing, Sawyer.”

Maggie let herself out and smiled. Alex was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

//

_You know what’s even better than surprise late night pizza and company? LEFT OVER PIZZA FOR BREAKFAST._

_You’re gross, Danvers! At least heat it up._

_Nope, not gonna happen, it’s great as is._

_Gross._

_At least it’s not a double toasted bagel, weirdo._

_Rude. But fair. Have a good day, Danvers._

_//_

Maggie was sat at her desk, work had been crazy busy recently with a couple of murders involving some freaky stuff. It had been nothing but late nights and early mornings for the last 3 weeks and she was feeling it. Station coffee was doing nothing to help so she felt like she was in a permanent bad mood.

Detective Holt approached her office, “Captain? There’s a reporter at the front desk, asked to see you specifically?”

Maggie groaned. “I’ll head out now.”

Maggie wasn’t even in reception before she could see Kara. This was the first time she’d seen her to talk to since the break up and since her and Alex were rekindling their friendship.

“Kara?” Maggie asked tentatively.

“Maggie, hi. Snapper sent me down here to see if I could get any news on the mystery murders. Is there anything you can tell me?”

Maggie seemed irritated and snapped back at Kara, “Listen, as soon as I have anything, you and the rest of the press will know. Until then, let us get on with it ok.”

Kara was stunned, Maggie had never spoken to her like that. “OK, I’m sorry, I guess. I didn’t mean to intrude.” She started walking towards the door.

Maggie realised that she had just unleashed a ton of stuff on Kara with no reason to and called her back, “Kara, wait! I’m sorry. This case has got me working crazy hours and I’m getting it from all angles. This is the biggest case we’ve had in the last couple of years and my first big one as Captain. I’m more than a little fried.”

“You need to take a break, you can’t work flat out all the time. Please, go out for a coffee or something?”

Maggie sighed. “I will… at some point, we’re getting somewhere but it’s slow and I don’t want to leave it to some rookie detective. This is important.”

Kara nodded, “It might be but so are you. I’m going to get going, call me when you have something?”

“Sure. Again, I’m sorry I snapped at you like that.”

Kara smiled and walked out of the station clutching her phone in her hand.

_How are things with you and Maggie? I’ve just been to see her for CatCo. She’s stressed, looks like she could do with some coffee._

_Thanks, I need a break, might have to take some over to her._

An hour after Kara left, there was a knock at Maggie’s now closed office door. Without looking up she told the person to come in.

“Rumour has it, you need coffee.”

Maggie’s head snapped up immediately seeing the jeans and leather jacket before the face. “Danvers, hi, how did you….Kara.” She smiled to herself. Looks like her ex almost sister in law was also trying harder to make a positive change. “Of course. Thanks, the stuff here is crappy, I should really look at bringing my own in.”

Alex looked at Maggie with the tiniest little smile on her face, realising that the shorter woman was checking her out. Maggie spotted it, “What’s got you?”

Alex’s cheeks flushed instantly. “Nothing, what, why would anything get me? I’m just here, with my friend, bringing her coffee, happy to see her for the first time in weeks.”

Maggie felt a pang of guilt wash across her, “It’s been a while hasn’t it. I’m sorry, Alex. Things have been crazy with these murders. I promise we’ll set something up soon.”

“It’s no rush, really. I know you’re busy but it wont always be like this. The murders are a crazy intense case, I know you’ll wanna get these guys yourself.”

Maggie looked as overwhelmed in that moment as she felt. “I do but I shouldn’t be abandoning my friends. Hey, there’s a bowling night coming up, a couple of the detectives keep trying to get me to team up with them, you fancy that? It’s next Wednesday, You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

Alex practically beamed. “I would love that, I haven’t bowled in so long! Just so you know, I’m good, really good. 

“Why did I know you’d say that? Well, I suck but if you’re as good as you say you are, I’m gonna rely on you to bring my score up for the team.”

“Deal. Right, I better head off back to work. Text me later?”

“Yeah, see you, Danvers.”

Maggie watched Alex walk out of her office and sighed. That woman was going to be the death of her with outfits like that.

//

Wednesday rolled around in a haze of paperwork, planning for the conference and late nights. Alex was really looking forward to a night off, it had been too long.

_So is this a uniform needed sort of event? Just want to make sure, don’t want to show you up._

_Relax, Danvers. It’s casual, sneakers, jeans, I’m sure you’ll find something that works ;)_

Is that a winky face? From Maggie? Is she flirting? This is brand new territory. Shit.

_Kara, I have an emergency, meet me at my apartment in 20?_

By the time Alex had made it home, her little sister was waiting for her. Kara rushed over to check her sister over, grabbing her by the arms. “Alex, what’s wrong? Are you ok?”

“Woah, Kara, calm down. No need to pounce!”

“You said there was an emergency!!”

“Thank you for rushing over here and pouncing on me, I’m fine just a little confused and kinda freaked out.”

“OK, so talk to me?”

Alex started to pace. “So tonight is the bowling game with Maggie, right? Well she replied to a text I sent her about what to wear and she sent this back.” She handed her cell to her sister.

Kara looked confused and excited when her eyes met Alex’s. “What does this mean? Is she being flirty?”

Alex was relieved that she hadn’t read something in to it that no one else would have done. “EXACTLY! What do I do??? I mean, I haven’t replied but she hasn’t said anything since either. I’m so confused, I thought she just wanted to be friends. Maybe she still does, ugh! Kara, help!!!!!”

Kara pulled her sister in for a hug. “We need to calm you down, what do you need?”

Alex gave in to the hug with a sigh and tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes. “Tea? Couch cuddles?”

Within a couple of minutes, Kara had set everything up and lit a lavender candle. “First things first, how do you feel about Maggie?”

Alex looked at Kara, tears still threatening. “You know how I feel about her. I never stopped loving her Kara but we’ve hit a really good groove. Things are feeling natural again but better than before in a lot of ways. I’d give anything for a chance at being an ‘us’ again but I’m so happy with where we are that I don’t want to risk ruining it. I can’t cope with the thought of not being close to her, even when she’s not around I can’t help but feel drawn to her.”

Kara stroked Alex’s arm and cupped her face, “It sounds like you know what you want and it also sounds like Maggie does. Maybe just follow her lead? If she feels ready to move things forwards from just being friends, see how that makes you feel?”

Alex smiled through watery eyes, “Have you been talking to my therapist? Because you sound a lot like her right now.”

The sisters hugged it out until Alex realised it was time to get ready for bowling.

//

Alex arrived and spotted Maggie queuing for bowling shoes. She waved and walked over. “Hey, Sawyer. Ready kick some ass?”

Maggie dimple grinned back, “Danvers! Damn right. Get your shoes and find a ball. It’s on!”

They got their shoes on and made their way to their lane. As they went to walk down the 2 steps to their seats, Alex was sure that she’d felt a hand on her lower back. Just for a second, so quickly that she wasn’t even sure if it had happened. She must be imagining it.

Maggie’s colleagues were already in the lane setting up the bowlers’ names. David, Steve, Maggie and Alex were already set up on the board. One of the men extended his hand, “Good to meet you, Agent Danvers, I’m Steve. This guy here is David, he’s less of an ass than he comes across.” David huffed from his seat.

Alex took Steve’s hand and shook it confidently, “No need for formalities, we’re here as a team, right? Alex is fine.”

“Fair enough, good to meet you at long last, Alex. Captain Sawyer, sorry, Maggie, has told us that you’re quite the bowler. I’d be lying if I said that we don’t need one. We may even have a chance to come somewhere other than bottom of the leader board tonight.”

“It has been a while but it shouldn’t take me too long to warm up.”

“Well we have five balls to warm up, the league is pretty friendly, ready when you are really.”

David went first, flexing his wrist (much to Maggie’s amusement) before picking a ball up. He held it high, just below his face, let his arm drop and swing back as he moved towards the lane and let the ball go, kicking his dominant leg to the side as he did. Maggie laughed out loud making her team mates jump.

David looked pissed. “Something funny, _Captain_?”

Maggie tried to calm her laughter. “Chill out, man. I didn’t mean to laugh. It’s just that you take it so seriously for a friendly get together. With the concentration and the leg and stuff.” Maggie giggled her way through each word.

Dave reclaimed his seat and sat with his arms folded across his chest.

Alex looked at him and back to Maggie and mouthed, “What’s his problem?”

“He’s fine, he just takes life a bit seriously at times, he’ll settle down after a few balls. As Steve said, he really isn’t as much of an ass as he seems.”

The four of them continued to warm up, Maggie had definitely not been lying. She was awful. “Hey Sawyer, you need to kiddy ramp? Or maybe the barriers??” Alex teased.

“Haha, very funny, Danvers. How about we make this interesting? $20 says I get a strike before the end of the night.”

Alex held her hand out, palm up, “You’re on. Want to hand it over now and save yourself the hassle of trying to get more than three pins down?”

“You’re going to regret that, Danvers!!”

The women seemed to forget that anyone else was there, entering into their own world of teasing and flirting that was obvious to anyone within 100 miles of where they were but neither of them would openly admit it.

Alex shook her head as Maggie took another go getting only two pins down this time. “Sawyer, I’m starting to feel bad for you. Let me help, I can give you some tips and maybe you’ll be able to get more pins down.”

“Only if the bet is still on, you don’t get out of it because you want to teach me something.”

Alex faked shock, “Me? Alex Danvers, back down from a bet?? Never!”

“Then let’s do this. I told you that I’m awful.”

Alex searched for a lighter ball than the one Maggie had been using, “Smaller person, smaller ball.” She had said, much to Maggie’s annoyance.

She started talking to Maggie about her approach and swing, “But, first things first. Your grip, you’re meant to hold the ball with your middle fingers.” Alex blushed suddenly realising that she was talking to Maggie about her fingers.

Maggie and took the ball into her hand. “Like this?”

Alex cleared her throat and nodded. “Now, like we said, take your time on your approach, try to get your foot and arm moving in sync.”

Maggie had a look of sheer determination on her face, concentrating even harder than she had laughed at David for doing half an hour ago. She drew the ball back as she started moving, let it go and closed her eyes.

Alex was watching the ball intently realising that it was starting to turn away from the gutter, “Go on, go on, come on ball!!! MAGGIE!!!!! LOOK!!!!!!”

Maggie opened her eyes and squealed, she had got her first strike. She ran to Alex and hugged her so tight that if the shock of Maggie touching her hadn’t winded her, the hug would have done. “I did it!!! Alex, I did it!!!”

Alex realised that she hadn’t started to return the hug yet so did so, “Yeah you did! I’m so proud of you.”

The women reluctantly broke away from the hug still holding on to each other’s forearms. Alex looked the shorter woman in the eyes, asking whether this was ok. Maggie smiled back and nodded almost imperceptibly. It was all Alex needed, the smile that crept across her face was so big that he face began to hurt but she couldn’t bring herself to stop.

The game continued and even though Maggie’s strike was a fluke, she did get noticeably better after Alex’s guidance. The team finished sixth out of ten teams meaning that David and Steve were ecstatic. “That’s the best we’ve ever done, ever!!” David gushed.

“You sure changed your tune, David.” Alex laughed in response.

“Yeah, sorry about that. It takes me a while, you know. Feel free to come down next time, Danvers. You were a life saver today.”

She looked over to Maggie, smiled and replied, “Who knows, maybe I will.”

The men left Maggie and Alex alone. “So, what do you want to do now, feels early to be calling it a night.”

Alex looked at Maggie, hopeful that she wouldn’t shoot her suggestion down. “How about pizza and a chat?” Maggie nodded her reply and gestured towards the door.

They walked in comfortable silence to the first pizzeria they could find that did take out. They picked up their order and started walking towards Maggie’s apartment. Alex was anxious, she knew that Maggie’s position had shifted slightly but she was worried that this put her in a vulnerable position. She didn’t want to get hurt but she also didn’t want to assume that this meant that Maggie wanted more than just a friendship. The whole thing was so complicated.

“You ok there, Alex?”

Alex jumped at the sound of her own name. “Sorry, yeah, in my own head a bit.”

“I could tell. Talk to me about it?”

Alex slowed her breathing slightly to try and calm her heart rate down. “Earlier, you touched me. Like, really hugged me. What’s changed?”

They reached Maggie’s building, went through the doors and climbed the stairs deciding against using the elevator. “Ever since, you know. Can’t face it, even now. To answer your question: everything. You, us, this. I realised that the only reason I hadn’t been wanting to touch you or vice versa was because of the hurt I still felt from the break up. You’ve grown, we both have and what we have now is so different to that.  You’re my best friend in the world, Alex. It started to feel weird to not touch you.”

Maggie unlocked the door and invited Alex in to her apartment.

Alex wasn’t sure if she felt relieved or disappointed. “That makes total sense. You just surprised me, I’d gotten used to not being in contact with you so it threw me for a loop.”

Maggie’s expression changed completely. “Alex, I’m so sorry, I didn’t even consider that you might not be ready for it after all this time.”

“Maggie, hey, no. It’s ok. I’ve been wanting to hug you but I didn’t want to cross the boundary. Now I know, I won’t surprise you with anything but it’s good to know that it’s an option.” Maggie visibly relaxed.

The pizza was devoured, neither of them realising just how hungry a game of bowling could make a person. Before it started to get too late, Alex suggested she get going.

“Thank you for tonight, I needed it. I’ve got so much going on with this off worlders conference, I’m not sure when I’ll be able to get a night like this again for a while.”

Maggie looked upset with the prospect of not seeing Alex again for a while. “Even if we can’t do another night out, we always have texts and calls, right? The odd coffee from time to time?”

Alex smiled, “Of course, Sawyer. Fancy a hug before I leave?”

Maggie didn’t even respond, she just stepped forward and relaxed in to Alex’s embrace. Alex felt like her senses were exploding with the sensation of having Maggie in her arms, the scent of her shampoo filling her nose. She’d missed this so much, a wave of emotion hit her out of nowhere causing her to whisper, “I love you.” Before she could stop herself. Maggie looked up, “Did you say something?”

Alex’s cheeks began to flush the moment the words left her mouth. Panicking, she replied, “No, I, just. I should go, I’ll see you later, yeah?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to @thusspokebianca for helping me out and hearing my ideas. It will now be a little longer before another update but this fluff should keep you going for a while ;)

Alex barely slept that night, tossing and turning and wishing she could have kept her mouth shut. She wanted to reach out to Maggie but didn’t know how. She checked her phone, 4:53am and a single text message. Maggie.

_Are you ok? You left in a hurry. Call me in the morning?_

Alex groaned, she didn’t know what to say to her. She didn’t know how Maggie could have not heard her, she was practically next to her ear when she said it. Fuck. Maybe she should call her therapist in the morning for an appointment. A lot had happened in the last couple of days and it had been a couple of weeks since their last one. She decided to email Jane rather than waiting, she had taught her to face her problems after all. Next it was Maggie. It was barely 5am but she had to text her.

_I’m fine, feeling a little overwhelmed. I have an appointment in the morning but I’ll try to call in the evening if that’s ok?_

Sent. “You’re getting better at this not avoiding stuff, Danvers.” She said out loud to herself.

//

Jane had been in touch and scheduled Alex in for 10am. She stopped off at Noonan’s for coffee before heading over to her office. Jane was a middle aged, blonde haired, average height woman.  She was always impeccably dressed, smart enough to be professional and yet casual enough to not be too intimidating. Her office was modern with some accents of personality here and there and one of the best couches that Alex had ever had the pleasure of sitting on. It was a pale blue and whilst you could sink in to it if you wanted, it was firm enough to feel like it was offering some support.  She was waiting for Alex when she arrived, “Morning, Alex. What did you want to talk to me about?”

Alex walked in to the office, sat on the sofa, leant forwards and put her head in her hands. “It’s Maggie. We have gotten to a really great place and yesterday she touched me for the first time since the break up.  It was amazing but it kind of freaked me out. Like why would she do that after having this rule in place?!”

Jane raised her pen and wrote a few notes. “Did you ask her?”

“Yes, I did when we were away from the bowling alley. She said that she’s been feeling weird about not touching me now that we’re working through our stuff and becoming friends. It just took me by surprise.”

“And why do you think that was?”

Alex exhaled heavily whilst sitting back, “She wanted to take it slowly and I’ve been doing this by her rules but I don’t know if I’ve truly acknowledged what I want in this whole thing.”

Jane sat up a little more this time, eyebrows raised, “And what is it that you want Alex?”

The director closed her eyes and leant all the way back in to the sofa, slouched almost all the way down. “Her. Maggie. If that means as friends then I’ll take it but it’s not what I really want. There’s never been anyone like her but I am so scared, Jane. I can’t lose her again, it would break me.”

Jane contemplated what Alex was saying for a few moments. Alex caught her breath and took a sip of her coffee sitting up more now that the confession was out in the open. Jane broke the silence, “It seems to me that you’re allowing fear to control your reactions. On one hand you say that you want to be with Maggie and that you’re in a really great place but on the other you’re saying that you’re terrified of losing her but there are no signs that it will go or is going that way.”

Alex laughed. Jane was a fucker for this, she called her out and pushed her to make her commit to making a decision. She knew what was coming next. “I’m still in love with her, probably more than I ever have been actually. Last night, I, kinda, well, I said it. Whilst I was hugging her. I didn’t mean to and I don’t think she heard me but I did. I don’t regret it because it’s true but I’m scared that she doesn’t feel the same any more.”

“Then it sounds like you know what you need to do.”

Alex looked at Jane, nodded and let out a big sigh. “Yeah, you’re right. It’s just going to take a while to build up the courage and think about what I actually want to say.”

Jane nodded back. “That’s all we have time for, will I still be seeing you at your normal appointment?”

“Definitely. Thanks for today, Jane. I needed it.”

//

The DEO seemed busier than normal and Alex had no idea why. “Agent Hill, why is everyone looking so concerned, is there an incident I haven’t been made aware of?”

“Good morning, Director Danvers. Erm, we thought you’d know, the President is in your office.”

Alex was furious that no one had bothered to tell her, “How long has she been waiting?” She snapped back at him.

Agent Hill gulped almost comically, “About 30 minutes. I’m so sorry, we really thought you’d know and you were due any minute so we didn’t think to contact you.”

Alex glared at him. “In future, think.”

She made her way to her office; trying to calm herself down by mentally listing all of the ways she was going to make the entire DEO’s lives hell for the next week for such a monumental fuck up. “Madam President, good to see you. What brings you to National City?”

The President stood up and offered a hand to Alex. “Director Danvers, at long last. I came to discuss the conference. We’re looking at National City as a host depending on whether or not there’s a suitable venue available, we won’t need you for that but once we do have a venue, we will need you to approve it.”

Alex nodded, “All fine by us, Ma’am. Are things progressing now?”

“Slowly, yes. Once we have the venue locked in, we’ll be running a week of meetings in DC, you will be required to attend the full week. We’re hoping to get the venue secured today so we have provisionally booked in for 2 weeks time. Does that work for you?”

Alex knew that this was a big deal for the alien population and a huge deal for her as the new director so she was anxious but determined to make a good impression. “Any potential clashes will be changed, Ma’am. This is my top priority.”

The president smiled and made to leave, “Excellent, I have a feeling that you’ll enjoy this one.”

//

Alex had barely heard from Maggie for the last few days but she had been so busy with news from the President about the conference that she had barely had a moment to breathe. The DEO had a new round of recruits who needed training, she had to leave that to Agent Vasquez who had been brought over from the desert base.

She was swamped with paperwork and figuring out security in the venue that she was working all hours again. She desperately wanted to see Maggie but knew they didn’t really have time for it.

_Hey, you have 20 minutes at some point today, feels like forever since we spoke and I need to get out of this office at some point today. Figure we could go for a coffee?_

_Sorry Danvers, I’ve just had a lead on the mystery murders, I need to check it out ASAP. Rain check?_

_Yeah, that’s cool. Let me know when you’re around. I’m off to DC next week for a few days, was hoping to see you before then._

There was no reply from Maggie for a few hours and when there was it wasn’t anything exciting. Alex decided to arrange her flights and accommodation for next week whilst waiting. When it got to 9pm, she decided to call it a night and head home.

//

It turned out that Maggie had made a big break in the mystery murders case so wasn’t able to meet up that week after all. They didn’t even manage to talk on the phone and all Alex could think about was how much she missed her and how much she wanted to see her.

The discussion with Jane had brought all of her feelings to the surface, everything she had been feeling but suppressing was now slapping her in the face. She craved Maggie in every sense of the word. She hated not hearing her voice or seeing her. She needed to work this through and know for certain if there was any chance of them getting back together again.

That discussion was going to have to wait because she was heading to DC tonight in preparation for the first meeting in the morning. She was dreading it. A week away from the people she was closest to and even though her sister could literally fly to be with her in 30 minutes or so, it wasn’t the same.

Her phone chimed signalling that the Uber had arrived to pick her up and take her to the airport. She had a book with her but didn’t know if she would be able to relax enough to enjoy it.

The airport was fine, the flight was fine, she actually managed a little sleep! When she arrived at the hotel, she checked in and collapsed in her bed for the night having arranged a wake up call for 7am.

//

When she made her way to the first meeting, her phone went off in her pocket as she queued for coffee. She took it out and opened the message.

_Hey stranger. I’m so sorry that we didn’t get chance to meet up but I did get catch the woman responsible! I guess you’re in DC now, is it weird that I kinda hate that you’re so far away? I miss you, Alex._

Alex could not break down in the middle of starbucks, she couldn’t. She had to hold it together. She got her order and sat on a bench outside for a few minutes attempting to find the words to respond.

_Can we talk when I get back? Like, really talk? I hate that I’m this far away from you, I miss you too xx_

_I was going to suggest the same thing. Enjoy DC, next Monday ok?_

_Perfect._

Alex could squeal with joy, she knew that this was important and meant that their relationship was taking a shift, she could only hope that both of them wanted the same things, that this could be the start of an ‘us’ again.

//

The President began to speak, “Thank you for joining me on this beautiful day in our nations capital. We’re here to plan, discuss and action anything that could help the off worlders conference run smoothly and to help everyone involved stay safe. As I’m sure you’re aware, during this meeting you will be presented with some information that is highly classified. You have all signed non disclosure agreements so anyone found to be sharing information from it with anyone who does not have prior approval to be in the loop by me and me only, should expect the full force of the law used against them. Now, Director Danvers here is with the Department of Extranormal Operations, her agency is running security as it has the most experience in this field and more knowledge than anyone else. She will be running a meeting later in the week to discuss species to watch out for and any powers we need to be aware of.”

A wave of shock seemed to ripple through the room as people realised that there was an agency specifically for dealing with aliens that apparently had a wealth of knowledge surrounding their status, abilities and probably biology. It was the real life men in black and, in a room full of men, it was headed up by a woman.

“First things first, let us introduce ourselves and discuss the venue. We need a list of organisations that we feel are appropriate for the conference and will offer the best options for our friends from other planets. After that I will hand over to Phil Jameson who is with the National City Arena who will be hosting us.”

Each person took it in turns to explain who they were and what their role was to be in all of this. Phil then took over as they discussed access to the arena, security concerns and capacity for the next few hours. Lunch had been provided mid way through but Alex was exhausted after her red eye last night and all she could think about was getting back to Maggie.

The day finished at around 4pm meaning that Alex went back to her hotel and in to the bar to get a drink and order some food. She sat with a finger of scotch thinking about texting Maggie when she heard a voice at the side of her. “Alone are we?”

The woman was in her late 20s, dressed in business attire and very attractive. He hair was curly and mid length, her eyes were like honey glistening in the low light of the bar. “Yep, just having a drink and something to eat.”

“Mind if I join you? Next drink is on me.” The woman winked at Alex as she took the seat at the side of her.

Alex realised that the woman was hitting on her, she couldn’t help but feel like she needed to escape and quickly. “You’re welcome to sit there but just so you know, I’m not interested in any company. I have someone back at home.”

The woman raised an eyebrow, “At home? Well I won’t tell if you won’t…” She replied suggestively, leaning over and placing a hand on Alex’s thigh.

Alex stood up feeling pissed off. “Listen, you’re attractive, you are. I’m gay but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to jump in to bed with you. I said I’m not interested and I meant it. I won’t jeopardise what I have regardless of whether or not she’s ever likely to find out. It’s up to you whether or not you stay here but I’m going to go to my room and make a call.” With that she asked for the bill to be added to her room tab and the food to be sent up before marching off leaving the woman looking shocked.

//

Alex sat on her bed reeling from the incident in the bar. She couldn’t believe the audacity of the stranger, who in their right mind goes up to a total stranger and touches them like that? Has she never heard of consent?

She picked her phone up and called Maggie.

“Alex? Hey! How’s DC?”

The red head calmed the moment she heard Maggie’s voice. “Not too bad, how’s NC?”

“OK, wish you were back here though. I’ve been thinking about our conversation a lot and what I need to say. I’m almost there I think. What about you?”

Alex sighed into the phone. “I know exactly what I want to say to you. The difficult thing is not saying everything right now but you deserve to hear it when we’re stood face to face.”

Maggie sounded worried, “You know how to keep a girl on her toes, Danvers.”

“I promise it’s a good thing, at least I think it is. I know it’s all I can think about.”

Maggie sounded like she was smiling. “Me too.”

They sat in silence for a few moments before Maggie spoke again, “So, tell me about your day.”

Alex chuckled, “Nothing to really report, meetings all day and then I went to the bar. There was this woman there who started hitting on me…”

Maggie’s voice changed completely, becoming almost completely devoid of anything but jealousy. “You should totally go for it if that’s what you want, Danvers. No one is holding you back.”

“Don’t do that, Mags. Please. What I was about to say is that she was hitting on me but was a dick about it. Even if she wasn’t, I’m not interested.” Alex took a deep breath and reduced her voice to a whisper, “There’s only one person I’m interested in.”

Maggie’s voice came through the phone even quieter. “That so?”

“Yeah. But the rest of that statement is going to have to wait until Monday I think.”

Maggie sounded like she was trying not to cry, “Monday. Yeah. You coming here or should I come to you?”

Alex’s voice was becoming thick with emotion. “Meet me at mine? I’ll text you when I’m on the way back from the airport, yeah? I miss you.”

“I miss you too. Monday…see you then, Danvers.”

//

Maggie was distracted at work for the next few days. There wasn’t much for her to be getting on with since the mystery murders were handled. There were still a few pieces of paperwork to finalise but she had her detectives doing the most of the work.

“Captain Sawyer?” David questioned.

“Sorry, Detective. I was in a world of my own for a second there.”

David smiled at her. “Wouldn’t be thinking of your girl would you? Gotta admit, after the rumours that went round the station a while back, I wasn’t expecting to see you back together like that.”

Maggie looked shocked then softened to a smile. “Well, things change. Keep it quiet though, I mean really quiet. Things aren’t official yet but I’m hoping it’s going to happen soon.”

“Really!? But you were…. Actually, I’ll stop my sentence there. I’ve not seen you this happy in a while Captain, it looks good on you. Also, here’s my completed paperwork for you to sign off.”

Maggie took the paperwork from David and smiled. “Thank you. Who knows, you may even have a permanent team for bowling.”

David fist pumped as he walked out of the door leaving Maggie laughing to herself.

She looked at the time, 4pm. This time in 3 days, Alex should be back in National City and they would hopefully be talking. Hope bloomed in the woman’s chest. It had been months since the C case and every time they had spent any time together, things got easier and more intense.

She didn’t think she could love anyone as much as she had loved Alex when they were about to get married but now she loved Alex so much more intensely than she had loved her before. This felt how things always should have done, they were being open and respectful in ways that weren’t necessarily missing before but this is definitely a shift towards something stronger. The future was looking really good for them with this new foundation.

//

It was Friday afternoon, Alex had been discussing alien species to be aware of and vulnerable species all day. She was exhausted but if they managed to get through everything they needed to today, she could head home a couple of days early which meant that she could see Maggie earlier but certain people just didn’t seem to be paying attention.

“As I have said before, we have an incredible database with all known species listed as well as any known powers and ways to defend against them. What I think some of you are missing is that most aliens are here as refugees because their home planets are no longer suitable and they are very few that will offer them a chance of a new start.” She was fed up with repeating herself by this point. “This isn’t the first time we’ve dealt with aliens in huge numbers, remember the Daxamite invasion? Yeah, that was ended by Lena Luthor and one of my techs. I took on a number of the foot soldiers myself. We work as a team and know what we’re doing. Security will not be an issue.”

The room quietened with that. Alex finally felt like she was getting somewhere. They had strategies in place to reach out to the more vulnerable of the off world population which included coordinating any possible clashes so that they wouldn’t cause rifts at the event.

Another couple of hours of discussion and everyone, including the President was happy that they had enough in place to make the event a success. They had a date set for a months time which should give everyone present and the NCPD plenty of time to organise themselves.

Alex said her thanks and shook the hands of everyone then looked at her watch. It was 7pm, there was a chance she could get the 9:30pm flight back to National City if she hurried. She excused herself and got on the phone to book her seat.

//

By the time Alex landed and was through the airport, it was 1am. She knew she shouldn’t go straight to Maggie now but she couldn’t help herself. She got in a cab and gave the driver Maggie’s address. She was nervous, wringing her hands and unable to stop her knee from bouncing. She paid the driver, got out and took a deep breath in the night air. It was cool and calmed her nerves before heading towards the door.

She pressed the buzzer for Maggie’s apartment and waited. She knew it was late so tried again after a minute or so. “What?!” came the annoyed voice through the speaker.

“Hey, it’s me. Sorry, can I come up?”

Maggie sounded shocked, “Alex? Yeah, of course you can.” The door opened and Alex made her way up the stairs.

Maggie met her at the door and took the taller woman in to her arms. They stood holding each other tightly for a few minutes, taking the other woman in. “God, I’ve missed you, Mags. I know it’s only been a few days in DC but with not seeing you before I left, I really really have.”

Maggie looked up at her with tears in her eyes, “I’ve missed you too. So much. Can we talk?”

Alex smiled and nodded in reply as they walked in to Maggie’s apartment.

“Do you want to go first?” Alex asked and Maggie shook her head. “I think I need to hear what you have to say first.”

“That’s fair. OK. When we first reconnected I was all over the place, you threw me and I made some errors in judgement which I hated. I feel like I’ve grown a lot since then though and I feel like the friendship we have built since then is so much stronger than anything we had before the break up. There’s still not a day that I don’t regret that but I know now that I was scared and I’m working through things with my therapist and it’s helping. The last few weeks, things have changed. I started feeling things really intensely again and I felt like you were opening up more. I panicked after bowling because I said something that I was worried would ruin everything but saying that and talking to my therapist made me realise that I knew what I wanted.” Alex’s eyes were watering and her voice was starting to crack. She walked over to Maggie who was crying and placed her hand on her cheek.

“I want you, Maggie. I’ve always wanted you. You push me to be better without making me feel like I’m not enough. You have given me everything I’ve ever wanted and I can’t lose you again. I can’t risk you finding someone new without telling you how I feel because it would break me. I love you, Sawyer. I have since we first met and I swear to you that if you’re willing to give me another chance, I will not waste it. You’re it for me.”

Alex was attempting to wipe the tears away from Maggie’s smiling face but they were falling too quickly. The Captain rested her forehead against Alex’s and began to talk.

“Thank god! I was so scared. The night we went bowling? I heard you. I heard you say that you loved me and then you ran and I was so scared that you had regretted saying it but then things were back to normal. You have grown so much in the time we spent apart and since we reconnected. I am _so_ proud of you, Alex. We always had a good relationship until the end but I feel the same as you, we now have the most amazing foundation for anything going forwards.”

Maggie paused to take a breath and look at Alex, gently moving her hair from in front of her face. “I love you more now than I ever thought a human could ever love another human. You are a badass and the biggest softie. If you’ll have me, I’ll spend every moment I have trying to make you feel as loved as you do me.”

They were both sobbing and holding each other so tightly that it was difficult to breathe. “So we’re actually doing this? We’re going to get back together?” Alex questioned.

Maggie smiled through her tears. “I have one question but I think so. What about kids? Do you still want them?”

“Maggie, I would one day love to have kids but if I can’t have kids with you then I don’t want them. There will never be any pressure for you to have kids if you don’t want them or you’re not sure. If you ever change your mind about that then we’ll discuss it further but if I have to choose, it’s you. It’s always going to be you”

Maggie’s grin stretched across her face as more tears fell. “Then I guess it’s official, I finally got the girl.” Maggie pressed a kiss to Alex’s forehead as the taller woman sighed into it.

They stood in silence, taking the moment in before Alex spoke. “As we’re now official. Can I take you on a date?”

“I thought you’d never ask! Oooh!! The carnival is in town this weekend, wanna go tomorrow, well, I guess it’s actually today or Sunday?”

Alex’s voice was full of excitement. “Sounds perfect, Sawyer. Can I ask you something? Can we not rush anything physical? I want to make sure that we’re connected emotionally before rushing the physical stuff…kissing included? Not that I don’t want to kiss you or anything else but can we at least go on our date first?”

Maggie looked slightly disappointed. “That’s fine Alex, we take this slow, if we’re going to get it right this time, we do whatever you need.”

“You really are amazing, Mags. Thank you for this, for giving me and us a second chance.”

“Thank _you_. We’re in this together now, ok? What did Winn call us, was it Sanvers or something?” They both laughed at the memory.

They smiled at each other, eyes glistening again with tears. Alex spoke, “Yeah, Sanvers.” She added ‘forever’ in her head, not wanting to pressure Maggie.

//

The women had managed to keep away from each other since Alex had left in the small hours of Saturday morning. They had been texting almost constantly and arranging their trip to the carnival so when Sunday came around, neither of them could wait to see their girlfriend again.

Kara had come over to see Alex for brunch before she headed out to see Maggie.

“Aleeeex. Can you put your phone down and talk to me pleeeease!!”

Alex was smiling at her phone again having received a cute message. “Sorry, it’s just Maggie.”

“What’s going on there, is anything new happening?”

Alex grinned wider. “Kara, I’ve been waiting to tell you until this morning. I went straight to her from the airport. We spoke at length about how we both feel and we’re officially back together.” Alex was not expecting her sister to fly off the sofa into the ceiling squealing.

“ALEX!!!! THAT IS AMAZING!!!!! HOW DO YOU FEEL?!”

She picked pieces of plaster out of her little sister’s hair and replied, “Amazing. We’re completely on the same page. We’re communicating better than we ever have and I know we’re going to make this work. This is it, sis. This is me settling down.”

“Oh Rao! Alex, I’m so happy for you both. Have you spoken about the future yet?”

“No, it’s early days but we’ve both pretty much said that this is it for us. It’s each other or not at all.”

“And what about kids? Does Maggie still not want them? Do you still want them?”

“We spoke about it. I told her that if she doesn’t want kids, it’s fine. I only want kids if I can have them with her, otherwise, I’m happy to not have them.”

Kara hugged her sister a touch too tight. “I’m so happy that you worked that out. Your therapist is a miracle worker!!” The sisters laughed. “I mean it though, you guys were made for each other.”

“Thanks, Kara. I love you.”

“I love you too. Now….you said something about brunch?" 

//

The carnival was down by the dock, both Maggie and Alex arrived earlier than they said they would, too excited to wait any longer.

“Hey you.” Alex said whilst walking up to her girlfriend with a dorky smile on her face.

Maggie smiled and hugged Alex the second she was close enough. “Hey back.”

“So, you up for rides or food first?”

Maggie laughed at Alex’s enthusiasm. “Rides then food, I know you had a Kara brunch this morning so there’s no way you’re going to be hungry for a while and you don’t want to risk being sick on the rides.”

“Ah! You got me there, all true.” They started making their way inside the carnival. “I told her about us.”

“You did? How did she take it?” Maggie looked smaller than usual, seemingly worried about Kara’s response.

“Really well actually. She’s been working on her own stuff and is trying to be more supportive.” Alex nudged Maggie’s shoulder with her own, “She said that we’re made for each other.”

Maggie stood a little taller and beamed, “I think she’s right there.”

The women walked over to the carousel first, finding a horse each with the best names making innuendo themed jokes the whole way round, laughing freer than they had together in months.

Next came the bumper cars, each of them opting to choose different cars so they could chase each other. “$20 says one of us have whiplash by the end of this!!” Maggie shouted as the cars started to move, “You’re on!” Alex chased her down but was hit in the side by another car whilst Maggie escaped, cackling as she went.

Alex ended up changing direction and heading straight for Maggie who hadn’t spotted her but was trying to avoid a teen who looked like he was trying to impress the girl he had his arm around whilst driving one handed. BANG! “Hahaha!! Gotcha Sawyer, keep your head in the game!”

When they got off the bumper cars, they were both feeling it so decided to make their way to some of the games. Again, their competitive sides came out on the shooting games. Alex finally admitted defeat when Maggie won her a cute little unicorn. “I always knew I was the better shot, Danvers and now I can prove it with this fluffy unicorn.” Alex sulked in reply.

As they wandered through the crowd, both women had their hands by their sides, wanting to reach out and take the other womans but not wanting to be the first to do so. After a few grazes that sent their heartbeats racing they stopped and looked at each other. “I really want to hold your hand, would that be ok?” Maggie asked. 

“Oh thank god! I do too, come here.” Alex took her girlfriends hand in her own. They linked their fingers together and continuing to walk whilst gently squeezing or stroking the other woman’s. They were both on cloud nine and they looked it.

They had a go at some more games and went on a couple more rides before deciding that it was food time. “You can’t come to a carnival and not have all the artery clogging stodge!! It’s like the law or something, Sawyer, come on!”

“Ugh, fine. But you’re eating vegetables next date, Danvers.”

Alex fluttered her eyelashes, “So that means that there’s going to be a next date then?”

“Shush you. There’s going to be as many dates as you can cope with. I’m not going anywhere.”

Alex felt her heart soar and the urge to kiss Maggie had almost overwhelmed her. She looked at Maggie to see her biting her lip and it didn’t make things much easier. She squeezed the shorter woman’s hand and led her to join the queue.

They sat at a table with their food, Maggie looking slightly disgusted as Alex tucked in to a corn dog. “What?! They’re delicious. You obviously just don’t have a pallet refined enough to handle it.” That earned her a napkin to the face. “Hey!!” Maggie stuck her tongue out and they both collapsed with laughter.

The sun was starting to go down when they decided to go on the ferris wheel. Maggie was a little reluctant because of the height, which Alex teased her about. The wheel made it’s way to the top as more people were let on, the lights of the city coupled with the sunset made everything look so much more beautiful.

Maggie rested her head on Alex’s shoulder. “Thank you for this, for today. It’s been perfect. 

Alex put her arm around Maggie and took her hand, playing with her fingers. “It really has. Thank you.”

Maggie raised her head so she could look Alex in the eyes. Alex looked back, her eyes flicking down to Maggie’s lips. Maggie did the same. They looked each other in the eyes again before gently coming together for a kiss that was slow and passionate and full of emotion. When they broke apart, they realised that they’d both cried. “I love you, Mags.” Alex said as she gently pulled Maggie closer in to her side.

“I love you too Alex.”


End file.
